Virtual Console Monday: March 17, 2008

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March 17th, 2008 posted by Link in General News, Wii

Nintendo was nice enough to serve up two classics to the US Virtual Console service today. Just the sight of Super R-Type and Spelunker make us…wait, Super R-Type and Spelunker? Really? Come on…

Spelunker? What the hell? Why would Nintendo give us the crappy port of a PC game? The box art makes you think of Indiana Jones, but the game itself is a lot more like Stephen Hawking’s Cave Explorer. It’s true that it spawned an equally shitty NES sequel, and to my knowledge it’s the only game ever made where you can die from falling bat poo, but seriously now, this isn’t a noteworthy NES release. Check out this mildly entertaining site for everything you need to know about Spelunker.

Next up is Super R-Type, or as I cleverly call it, Super Port Cashout With Terrible Slowdown Issues That Make It Impossible To Play Whatsoever. It was an SNES launch title that had terrible slowdown issues to the point where it was impossible to play (see now?).  It’s a mash-up of R-Type and R-Type II with no checkpoints and horrible graphical problems. If you like R-Type and the sequel, or if you just like side-scrolling shooters, pass this up and download their NES versions which are already available on the Virtual Console.

Oh well, you can’t win every week.